Grave Peril by Jim Butcher

grave peril

Dear Harry

Despite our meeting being a fun set up, by well meaning friends who thought you’d be perfect for me; a wizard with werewolves, fae, spirits and vampires for friends and enemies; I was glad when our time was over. Maybe I’m too picky, so I went again but again no thrill for between us. Then your grandmother, of all people, explained you’re awkward and asked for another chance on your behalf.

It was a great date, battling ‘The Nightmare’ to keep the barrier to Nevernever intact. I almost admired the way you marched into the vampire’s lair with your hair and coat billowing. The preachy knight and I enjoyed the ghost games, too. He must’ve told the Lois Lane wanna be how you felt since she shared the elixir of the Gods from her mystical vagina in a jail waiting room and healed your wounds.

That coupled with your swivel neck and constant drool over the female form, even during a fight was too much. Believe it or not all women aren’t lesbians or prostitutes and you’re missing a lot thinking breasts walk by themselves. Don’t take this the wrong way, but you should see a doctor about your little problem. Being a wizard, you should be able to keep it up. Limp spells and iffy magic aren’t good.

Like you and me, whatever we were doing was magic gone awry. There’s no spark. You’re a good guy but not mine. Just leave me here a more suitable book boyfriend will happen along. We’re done and going our separate ways but good luck with Lois,


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